Community Corner

A Personal Reminder That April is Autism Awareness Month

Rosemount Patch editor Rick Ellis writes that Autism Awareness Month has a special meaning for him this year.

As an organization, those of us who work for Patch don't write many opinion pieces. We're serious journalists and our job is to report and inform, not share our point of view. We work hard to be impartial and fairly tell all sides of a story. The bios of all the Patch editors (mine is ) list our political leanings, religious beliefs and more. We strive to be transparent with our readers because that is the best way to assure we will continue to be a trusted source of news for our community.

In previous "Editor's Notebook" columns, I have focused on writing about new features on Rosemount Patch or soliciting story ideas and interview subjects.

But as I was working on a story today on autism and the way the local school district handles the issue, it occurred to me that before I published that story, I should write this column.

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I have a 21-year-old nephew who is profoundly autistic. He's not another "Rainman," he doesn't have some magical mathematical talent like you see portrayed in so many Hollywood stories. He's a three-year-old trapped in a man's body. He's never going to live on his own, or hold a job or enjoy the simple things that so many of us take for granted. His life is defined by a few TV shows, a couple of trusted teachers and the family home he'll probably live in until my brother and his wife grow too old to care for him.

I understand in the abstract that autism probably doesn't have a genetic link. But when my son Sam was born nearly six years ago, I worried that some aspect of autism would show up in his behavior. When he was diagnosed with celiac disease, it was a problem I could work with. A life without wheat or barley is not nearly as tough as it used to be. And when he began having some delays in speech, my wife and I worked with him to improve. Because it was a definable challenge that responded well to predictable exercises.

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But by the time Sam was three, it was clear that he faced some other challenge. He just seemed "off" in some way that was difficult to define. He didn't react the way you might expect when faced with an unknown social situation. He sometimes stared off in an oddly lost way even when he was in a crowd. When we had him screened by the local school district, they suspected he had a milder form of Asperger Syndrome. Not autism exactly, but he would face a childhood filled with social and personal challenges.

My wife and I have spent large portions of the past two weeks taking our son for screening sessions with doctors, psychologists and other medical professionals. We needed to know for sure our son had Aspergers, even if discovering that truth would break our hearts.

I stayed strong throughout the days, assuring my wife and everyone else that Sam would be fine in the long run. Then I would sit on the floor at night next to his bed and cry. Not because I feared Sam wouldn't have a normal life. Because odds are that he'll be independent and social and successful. I cried because I thought it was my fault. I cried because I wanted to protect him from the world and the pain I knew he would suffer as he learns to conquer his problems.

Having a child with Aspergers is knowing that your life will be filled with equal parts of joy and sadness. You embrace the small victories and concentrate on the days when things go just perfectly. Then there are the days when your child is overwhelmed or moody over some problem you can't decipher. You learn patience and force yourself to not cling too tightly to your child. You try and explain his condition to friends and family who just can't seem to grasp the situation. You live each day as fully as you can. But you never forget that tomorrow may bring some challenge you won't even see coming.

We face the same challenges as any parents who have a child with some serious medical or cognitive issue. You suck it up, do the best you can for your child and remind yourself to stay strong because more than anything, that's what they need from you.

I write this not for sympathy, but to remind myself that my wife and I aren't alone in this. Other families have gotten through this and we will too. But mostly I wanted to be transparent with you, the readers of Rosemount Patch.  This part of my life is as important as my political or religious views.


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