Community Corner

Rosemount Soldier's Comrades Knew He Was Gay -- and Didn't Care

Cpl. Andrew Wilfahrt of Rosemount was honored by his Army comrades, who named a combat outpost for him after his death in February.

Andrew Wilfahrt was in a closet of his own making when he was killed seven months ago by an insurgent’s bomb in Afghanistan.

The 31-year-old Wilfahrt – openly gay for years – returned to that closet in 2009 after telling his parents, Jeff and Lori Wilfahrt of Rosemount, that he intended to join the U.S. Army.

Last month's official end of the U.S. military’s “Don’t ask, Don’t tell" policy wouldn’t have saved Wilfahrt’s life. But it would have made his life a little easier.

Find out what's happening in Apple Valley-Rosemountwith free, real-time updates from Patch.

“We always had gay people in the service when I was a naval flight officer in the 1960s,” says Lawrence Korb, a senior fellow at the Center for American Progress and a former assistant U.S. secretary of defense in the Reagan and George H.W. Bush administrations. “And we didn’t care. You worried about people doing their jobs. You didn’t worry about their sexual preferences.”

By all accounts, Wilfahrt had the same experience.

Find out what's happening in Apple Valley-Rosemountwith free, real-time updates from Patch.

Wilfahrt became a member of the 3rd Platoon, 552nd MP Company, serving near Kandahar Province, Afghanistan. In late February, months after the U.S. Senate repealed the military's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy and just days before a scheduled leave, Wilfahrt was killed by an insurgent's bomb in Kandahar.

Everyone in Wilfahrt’s platoon knew he was gay, and to a man, they didn't care.

“I cannot put into words how sorry I am for your loss,” 1st Lt. Brandon LaMar, one of Wilfahrt's platoon mates, wrote in a letter last spring to Wilfahrt's parents. “I hope you all have gotten the chance to view the footage of the memorial service that took place here in Afghanistan.

“Seeing all the faces of soldiers crying should show you how much Cpl. Andrew Wilfahrt meant to us all. We will never forget him and are honored to have served with such an outstanding person.”

LaMar, who praised Wilfahrt as “an amazing person and soldier,” told Wilfahrt’s parents that his comrades in arms paid tribute to him by naming their new combat outpost just west of Kandahr COP WILFAHRT. COP is an acronym for combat outpost.

“We pray for you all every day, and talk about Cpl. Wilfahrt constantly,” LaMar’s letter reads. “He is deeply missed by his entire platoon.

“We are currently constructing a new living site for the incoming unit to move into and get out of living directly next to our ANP [Afghan National Police] counterparts. We have decided, as a unit, to call it COP WILFAHRT.”

Jeff Wilfahrt compares the platoon’s tribute to an observation post in Afghanistan called OP Restrepo, named for PFC Juan Sebastian Restrepo, a Colombian-born, naturalized U.S. citizen platoon medic who was killed in 2007.

“This is something the community of Rosemount can take pride in, since one of this town’s native sons served with incredible distinction,” Jeff says. “We now have our own Restrepo.”

Wilfahrt’s family has seen video footage of three ceremonies in honor of their son: “They make us cry, especially at the final roll call where they call Andrew’s name three times without response.”

Since his son’s death, of an upcoming ballot measure that would ask Minnesota voters whether the state Constitution should be amended to define marriage as the union of one man and one woman.

Although Jeff pleaded his case – unsuccessfully – before both House and Senate committees considering the legislation, he remains adamant that such an amendment belies the rights that soldiers like his son are fighting to protect.

“I daresay, his taxes were good enough, his blood was good enough, but his rights appear to be inferior,” Jeff said of his son.

“Somehow, though we all stand on common ground under law and Constitution, there remain those who insist on dismissing this common ground at the expense of others’ rights in the name of their God(s).”

Jeff and Lori Wilfahrt are the forces behind "Andrew's Round Table," an organization and website that bring together tributes to their son.

Through Andrew's Round Table, the Wilfahrts brought Randy Roberts Potts, the gay grandson of televangelist Oral Roberts, to Minnesota this week. Potts will speak at 7 p.m. Oct. 26 at the Steeple Center in Rosemount after appearing earlier at churches in Minneapolis and Winona.

Potts, who has contributed to the It Gets Better project, speaks about hope and acceptance. He is working on an off-Broadway show based on his not-yet-published memoir.

Although Wilfahrt’s death came months after the Senate repealed “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” the policy remained in effect until military leaders and the president could certify that its repeal wouldn’t harm the nation’s military readiness.

Because that policy still stood last spring, controversy erupted in April when the White House announced an event hosted by First Lady Michelle Obama and Jill Biden to honor military families – but which specifically excluded Jeff and Lori Wilfahrt and the families of all other gay and lesbian service members.

After CBS-TV questioned the exclusion, Michelle Obama’s communications director explained it in an e-mail:

“The president has been crystal clear that the administration is moving forward with the repeal of ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ quickly and efficiently,” Kristina Schake wrote. “However, it still remains the law. The White House, including the First Lady and Dr. Biden, look forward to working with the families of gay and lesbian service members after certification occurs and repeal goes into effect.”

But when critics pointed out that the White House gathering was not specifically a military event, meaning that there was no reason to exclude the families of gay and lesbian soldiers, organizers reversed their position, and Jeff and Lori Wilfahrt received an invitation.

Jeff demurred, calling the event an “estrogen-rich environment and no place for a Midwest guy like me.” But his wife attended, along with their daughter, Martha Wilfahrt, a graduate student in political science at Cornell University in Ithaca, N.Y.

“I didn’t even hesitate,” Lori said. “I should probably have thought about it a little, given that it was only four days away, but I said, ‘Yeah, I’ll go.’

Lori said she and Martha were immediately greeted by two of Michelle Obama’s staff, who treated them kindly and compassionately. “Maybe it was because it’s been only two months since Andrew’s death, or maybe it was because Andrew’s story is a pretty compelling one: Gay guy goes into the closet and joins the military,” Lori said. “And then finding out later that everyone in his unit knew about it and nobody cared.

“But I had the feeling that these people were taking care of me, and they were really nice people. I thought they just went beyond the call of duty to make sure Martha and I had a good time.”

Korb puts it succinctly.

“The key thing, as I look at it, is this: These people have fought and died for their country,” he says. “They’ve been great soldiers, sailors, airmen and Marines.

“The whole policy has never made sense. I’m glad we’re getting rid of it.”


Get more local news delivered straight to your inbox. Sign up for free Patch newsletters and alerts.

We’ve removed the ability to reply as we work to make improvements. Learn more here